The Android who Stole Christmas
by Chibi Mirai Gogeta
Summary: With revenge on his mind, Cell plots to steal Christmas and keep Santa from coming. Will he succeed?


CMG: Hello people. It's the holiday season again and once again, someone _evil _is planning to take over. As usual, I don't own Dragon Ball Z or How the Grinch Stole Christmas (parody of the title listed below). Will Christmas fail to come to the Son Family? Find out in…

**How the Android Stole Christmas**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_Twas the day before Christmas and yeah, down in HFIL, there were plenty of bad guys; one of which is known as Cell…"_**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Cell threw a blast at a random Christmas decoration that the ogres put up around HFIL to try to promote Christmas. The android created by Dr. Gero was against the whole aspects of Christmas and he refused to take part in _any _of the festivities.

"Argh!" Cell cried out in dismay at the cheeriness the ogres tried to pull. He threw a blast at a doll that exploded in flames. "Why do these humans celebrate a holiday that shows how much you care and love one another?"

"Because it's a holiday where Santa delivers presents?" Freeza questioned.

"Ooh! If I was able to escape, I would severely destroy Christmas by getting rid of him and any of those blasted Saiya-jins," Cell blatantly exclaimed in such distaste. "Including Goku, that simpleminded fool! He should be dead!"

"Well, I did see a secret passage to Earth," Freeza quietly spoke. "However, you must be able to become small and…" Freeza was cut off as Cell made himself smaller and squeezed through this hole and crawled off. "…right…"

On the other side of the opening, Cell grew back to normal as he laughed evilly.

"Now, I shall extract revenge upon the world where it hurts!" Cell exclaimed and flew west instead of north.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_The heavens were silent as though watching in horror and fear, what kind of dangers will Cell make this year?"_**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Unfortunately, for our heroes, King Kai did not see Cell's escape due to the fact that he was currently at a party at Grand Kai's planet to celebrate Christmas with the other Kais. If he would have seen the doom that felled Earth at that moment, would he have taken time to warn the heroes of Earth?

Eh, probably not. I mean, Cell didn't do anything yet to ruin Christmas. Though he's still plotting, King Kai's ignoring the fact that Cell, the one who managed to _nearly _kill Gohan, killed both Goku and Future Trunks along with other people, was running loose at that very moment. Besides, have you ever thought about how disappointed Earth's warriors would be if they found out **Cell** escaped **HFIL**? Most likely, but that's not the point. The point is…

…Cell's planning to destroy Christmas by keeping Santa from keeping his promise this year.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_In a forest full and green was the strongest warrior on Earth; despite his past he is stronger despite his power level at birth…"_**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Meanwhile, Goku laughs cheerfully as Goten and Trunks ran around him as he carried a pine tree towards his house in the woods. The boys exchanged snow balls against one another as they laughed and played. As Goku got to the house, he sensed something not right as he leaned the tree against the house.

"What is it dad?" Goten questioned as he and Trunks stopped their game due to the concerned looked on the hero of Earth's face at that moment.

"I'm not sure," Goku wondered. "I guess I'm just imagining it."

"I was about to say," Trunks started. "What if Buu was going to become evil again?"

"That would ruin Christmas, but I think he's okay," Goku smiled as he picked up the tree again and walked into the house with it.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_Last minute shopping was still being done at this hour, and unfortunately for Cell, he's going to meet a very strong power…"_**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Oh! If only our hero followed his fighting instinct! Maybe then, he would get to the bottom of this evilness that is Cell! Alas, he decided to ignore it and sad to say, this threat had managed to land in a state known as Ohio and a city known as Cincinnati as he appeared at…

"Northgate Mall?" Cell read the sign as a young female ran out the front door and collided into him. They both fell to the ground as the female looked up and she looked like…

"Excuse me? Are you…" the female said as her eyes widened.

…trouble also known as…

"Chibi Mirai Gogeta!" Cell exclaimed in seething anger. "I figured I'd find you here!"

"Oh yeah," the authoress smiled. "I guess you did find me."

"I was actually looking for the North Pole to put Santa out of business, but since I found you, I shall make sure you don't take advantage of the situation," Cell laughed evilly.

"Look, I wasn't going to get into this story this time, but since you're planning to take me to Santa…" Chibi started.

"…abduct actually…" Cell interjected.

"…I guess I'll have to summon the warriors here with my power," Chibi finished and was about to power up when…

"NO! DON'T! I'LL DO ANYTHING!" Cell cried out in panic.

"Anything?" Chibi repeatedly teased.

"YES!" Cell exclaimed.

"Well… if you'll do anything, take me with you," Chibi smiled.

"Actually, that's what I was going to…" Cell started.

"AHHH-!" Chibi cried as a small aura gathered.

"Fine!" Cell stopped her from powering up. "You can _come _with me."

"Yay!" Chibi cheered.

"But no crazy antics!" Cell yelled at the female.

"Fine," Chibi agreed.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_What dangers lurk in the horizons with Cell having Chibi in his hands? Will our authoress survive the terror of all lands?"_**

"_Chibi, you suck at rhyming."_

"**_Quiet Scrix. You're ruining the mood of this story."_**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Can I power up?" Chibi yelled over the tempest of snow falling.

"No! I told you not to because if you do, then my plans will be ruined!" Cell retorted. "Besides, you're my hostage…"

"…guest…" Chibi interjected.

"…on my quest to stop Christmas!" Cell laughs evilly when a snow ball hits his face. "Hey!" He glared at Chibi.

"Well, while you're laughing almighty Cell, I'm freezing my butt off!" Chibi shivered.

"Look, if you're right about Santa being at this 'North Pole' place, then why haven't we found his…" Cell started to say when suddenly, a sleigh nearly took off Cell's head. "Gah!"

"Does that answer your question?" Chibi growled at Cell.

"You little…" Cell growled as he grabs Chibi's arm and starts towards the direction that the sleigh went to. Over the ridge they saw a small village-like place with elves walking and singing. The sleigh landed as Santa demounted the large thing with a thunderous thud on the ground. It was so hard that the earth beneath his feet shook and knocked all the elves down.

"Whoa!" Chibi cried as she fell to her tail.

"Gah!" Cell cried. "What has he been eating?"

"Santa! It's… Cell!" one of the elves exclaimed.

"Quickly! We have to evacuate the North Pole!" Santa commanded. "He's up to no good!"

"You cannot escape!" Cell boasted as he turns to Chibi. "Now, make me something to capture them in. Like… uh… like…"

"Nets?" Chibi suggested.

"Yes! That'll work!" Cell exclaimed as Chibi pulled out nets.

"Will this be enough?" Chibi questioned.

"Yes!" Cell gleefully exclaimed before running and capturing all of the elves and Santa. He captured all the reindeer, save one that managed to escape.

"Oh Cell! There's one reindeer getting away!" Chibi smirked.

"Hey!" Cell growled as he fired a blast at the reindeer as it fell from the sky.

"No! That was Rudolph!" Chibi cried as her power fluctuated. "You just shot Rudolph!"

"I… I didn't mean to…" Cell started as he decided the only way to keep Chibi from giving away his position was to take care of the reindeer he just shot out of the sky. "Look, I'll go get him and make sure he's nursed back to health."

"You better!" Chibi yelled at Cell.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_With Rudolph injured and Santa in a cage, how will our heroes get the news before it hits the front page?"_**

"_You know that these rhymes are horrific, right?"_

"**_Stop interrupting the narration Scrix!"_**

"_Shouldn't I be in the next scene?"_

"**_You will be if you stop interrupting my narration and let me continue!"_**

"_Thank the Gods."_

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_Within Other Realm, the God known as Scrix was stirring; what this Saiya-jin God will hear next will be most disturbing…"_**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Asleep in his bed, Scrix slept peacefully when…

"**SCRIX! COME THIS INSTANT! THERE'S AN EMERGENCY!"**

"What?" Scrix woke with a jump; still sleepy as he emerged from bed still dressed in his Christmas pajamas. "Hold on Infr. Let me get dressed first."

"**COME AS YOU ARE YOU FOOL!"**

A growl escaped Scrix's throat. "As you wish Infr-sama."

Moments later, Scrix appears in the God of Gods' room still clad in his pajamas and carrying his staff.

"About time you got here," Infr mused.

"You didn't give me time to get dressed!" Scrix snorted.

"Well, there's a reason I brought you here before you could get dressed," Infr got straight to the point.

"It better not be because Saria needs her meds again," Scrix moaned.

"No, it's quite worse than that," Infr hinted.

"Does it happen to have _anything _to do with a Saiya-jin authoress?" Scrix flatly asked. "I mean she has been rather crazy lately and…"

"I'm afraid that this is definitely a Code Chibi," Infr replied. "Especially with her being involved with a certain supposed-to-be-dead Cell."

"So she's been kidnapped?" Scrix questioned.

"No, she went willingly," Infr muttered.

"Great," Scrix replied. "Well, I'll go grab Chibi and…"

"No! Cell's got hostages now! If you go, take Bardock with you," Infr commanded.

"Can't I take Fate?" Scrix wondered.

"No," Infr replied. "Fate's only a kid and his bedtime's at eight."

"He's been a kid for over a thousand years!" Scrix interjected.

"Yeah, but when I found him, he _was _a kid!" Infr pointed out.

"…whatever," Scrix growls and storms out.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_Unexpected allies gather to save Christmas from Cell's wrath, will they succeed or will the android have the last laugh?"_**

"_Chibi, give up! You're not Dr. Seuss!"_

"**_I'LL TELL THE STORY THE WAY I LIKE TO! NOW BE QUIET!"_**

"…_insane authoress…"_

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_With Chibi currently in the hands of a man who seems feeble, what kind of things are worse than Cell's evil?"_**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"_You're an android, Mr. Cell," _Chibi started to sing the tune to 'Mr. Grinch' out of pure boredom.

"Of course I'm an android!" Cell exclaimed.

"_You have stolen all the joy! You have taken all the fun out of any girl and boy!" _Chibi continued. "_Mr. Cell-l! You're a mastermind who would enjoy to destroy every toy!"_

"What are you singing?" Cell looked at the female with confusion.

"My version of how mean you are!" Chibi growled.

"Yeah? It's true!" Cell boasted.

"Why are you taking Christmas away from everyone?" Chibi asked Cell. "Why?"

"Because they shouldn't waste money on some frivolous holiday like this!" Cell hissed angrily at the female Saiya-jin. "I mean Dr. Gero didn't give me anything for Christmas and I grew up fine!"

"You're Scrooge!" Chibi sneered.

"Enough! One more peep out of you and I'll kill Santa!" Cell threatened.

"…" Chibi said nothing as tears emerged in her eyes. Cell took one look at that sad look and hissed.

"What the he-" Cell started as the female Saiya-jin gave him the saddest pout he had ever laid eyes on. Point to Chibi. "Fine. I won't kill him. Talk."

"Cell, do you wanna play a game?" Chibi's once sad face had a cheery smile on it as held up a random game box.

"Does it involve killing?" Cell questioned the Saiya-jin authoress.

"No." Chibi said in a flat voice.

"Aww!" Cell moaned.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_While Cell was distracted with Chibi with games, Dende called out to Earth's heroes by names…"_**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"_Come Goku, Come Vegeta, Come Gohan and Piccolo. Come Trunks, Come Goten, Come Tien and Krillin! Hurry one and all to the Lookout before it's too late and the cause the holidays to fall!"_

"What's up with the rhyming?" Piccolo asked.

"I have no idea," Dende sheepishly smiled.

The others appeared thanks to Goku as Dende spoke with the group.

"Guys, Santa alerted me that his toy factory's under attack!" Dende told the group.

"By who?" Goku asked.

"Cell," Dende muttered his name in complete dread.

"WHAT?" all of the warriors cried in unison.

"Cell's also got a prisoner! You got to stop him before he ruins Christmas!" Dende begged the warriors.

"Nice chant to summon the warriors Dende, but we'll take it from here," a voice chimed behind the Earthen God as the warriors looked up to see Scrix with Bardock.

"Dad!" Goku beamed.

"Hey son," Bardock grinned. "How you been?"

"Oh, you know, same old stuff's going on," Goku cheerfully spoke.

"Look, why don't we do it this way," Piccolo interrupted. "Scrix and Bardock will go in and do what they have to do while the other warriors who are too weak to fight Cell can go deliver Christmas presents."

"Good idea Piccolo!" Krillin sighed in relief. "To be honest, I don't like Cell."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_The warriors planned and prepared for the fight; they only had one shot to make everything alright…"_**

"_Okay! Enough rhyming! I'm annoyed by it!"_

"**_Scrix!"_**

"_You want to hear me rhyme?"_

"…"

"…"

_(Minutes pass on the narration as it seemed quiet; too quiet. Then…)_

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_The battle to end all battles is soon to be fought; both sides have something to gain and that is speaking a whole lot…"_**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Ha! I won again!" Cell cried out victoriously as he started dancing.

"It's only a game Cell!" Chibi moaned.

"Yes, but you see, you are no match for me when it comes to playing Budokai Tenkaichi!" Cell gloated. Suddenly, dust kicked up as the sound of wind's heard around them. Santa, the elves, and reindeer vanish; save Rudolph who was still injured. When the dust faded, there stood the warriors ready to battle.

"Oh no…" Chibi rolled her eyes.

"Oh yes," Scrix smiled.

"You!" Cell roared at Goku.

"Me?" Goku replied confused.

"Fight. Now. Nothing held back." Cell demanded.

"Okay," Goku chirped and goes Super Saiya-jin 3 before lunging at Cell.

"Come on! It's Cell's fault I'm here Scrix!" Chibi yelled at the Saiya-jin God.

"Yeah, but you staying here will make things uneven!" Scrix objected.

"I doubt it!" Chibi pouted as she petted the injured Rudolph. "Cell hurt Rudolph!"

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_Two warriors that battled seven years prior meet again by unexpected fate…"_**

"_Unexpected Fate? Like the title of a certain fanfic?"_

"**_I thought I knocked you out!"_**

**(thwap!)**

"**_Anyway…"_**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_Two warriors that battled seven years prior meet again by unexpected fate; will the battle be finally determined between these two before it's too late?"_**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Ungh!" Goku grunted as he went flying through a giant wrapped present and emerged on the other side.

"You've improved, but then again, so have I," Cell boasted as he walked slowly towards the Saiya-jin who was breathing hard on the ground. "I became stronger during my seven years before I came back for revenge. Now, I shall make sure you die and stay dead!"

"I don't intend to die by your hands Cell!" Goku roared as he vanished. Cell looked behind him and instantly fires a blast as Goku falls out of mid-air; his clothes smoking from the blast and his body burned.

"You're as pitiful as I remember," Cell spoke bitterly at the Earth-raised Saiya-jin as he kicked Goku while he was still down. Goku grunted in pain as the other warriors felt like stepping in. However, a glare from Goku confirmed that they should stay out of it until the warrior couldn't move or was dead. "Still have fight in you?"

"Cell, I made a promise to myself," Goku got up slowly as he coughed a bit of blood up. "I promised…"

"What did you promise?" Cell interjected. "Did you promise that you would give in and die at your enemies hands easily?"

"No…" Goku growled as his eyes flickered completely red. "I promised… that I wouldn't… give up anymore!" The aura raged around Goku's body as he lunged at Cell and gave everything he had in his blows. Cell was caught off guard; however, he quickly countered and Goku went spiraling to the ground again.

"Ha! You can't keep that promise!" Cell taunted. "You never were good at keeping them!"

"This one I swear on my life!" Goku growled as he lunges at Cell again. Before Goku could reach Cell, Vegeta gets in the way. "What are you doing?"

"Kakarot, stop rushing him like an idiot and do something constructive," Vegeta told the other Saiya-jin. "I'll hold him off." With that, Vegeta enters the fray.

"Constructive?" Goku pondered when it came to him. Powering down, he thrusts his hands in the air and focuses. "All life, please give me some of your energy tonight. For Christmas. Please…"

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_It came down to a warrior with a heart so calm, for he is the only one who can yield the Spirit Bomb…"_**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"You think you can hold me off long enough for Goku to summon his Spirit Bomb?" Cell mocked. "You're as pathetic as he is!"

"At least I know how to keep you occupied for five minutes!" Vegeta growled and continued his assault to keep Cell from attacking Goku; who by this time was starting to gather energy.

Instead of the normal sky blue energy, the energy was pure gold as it illuminated the field with a golden light. It was like a second sun was in the sky as the energy from it was immense. It was filled with hope, joy, peace, and yes, love.

'A bit more…' Goku thought to himself.

Rudolph, who was still in Chibi's arms, slowly stirred as the deer looked up at Chibi with innocent eyes.

"Rudolph's gonna be okay!" Chibi cried as she squeezes the reindeer a bit TOO hard. "Oops. Scrix, can you give me my bottle of Mystic Pepsi?"

"You better use it on the reindeer or else you're going to be punished later little lady!" Scrix growled as he shoves the bottle in Chibi's hands.

"Of course," Chibi smiles as she makes the reindeer drink the bottle. No sooner did it touch Rudolph's stomach, his body mended as he stood up.

"Thanks miss!" Rudolph smiled as the Spirit Bomb above them flashed with a heavenly light.

'It's ready!' Goku thought in happiness.

"Hm? Well, it seems nice, but it cannot overpower me!" Cell laughed.

"You underestimate the spirit of Christmas, Cell," Goku boldly stated. "Christmas Spirit Bomb!" The ball of pure golden light flew towards Cell as he tried with all of his might to deflect it; however, he felt the light destroying his body as he screamed in agony. Unfortunately, because it was thrown at the ground, Santa's Workshop and the small village was destroyed with the presents still inside.

"No! The presents!" Santa freaked. "Christmas is ruined!"

"Actually, that's why I figured I would stay," Chibi smiled as she pulls out the Dragon Balls.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"**_The Dragon God, the last hope for Christmas to be saved in time for the new day, will it work or did hope shine its last ray?"_**

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Arise Shenlong!" Goku yelled. The sky above the North Pole grew dark as Shenlong appeared; however, he had a giant red light bulb as a nose and Christmas lights covering his antlers and down his back.

"**UM… IGNORE THIS MORTALS," **Shenlong replied with a huge sweat drop. "**WHAT ARE YOUR WISHES? SPEAK THEM NOW!"**

"I wish for…" Chibi started.

"…you to bring back the toy factory!" Gohan yelled.

"**AN EASY TASK," **Shenlong replied as the toy factory was restored along with the village. "**ANY OTHER WISHES?"**

"Yeah! I wish everyone a Merry Christmas!" Chibi laughed as Shenlong sweat drop grew even bigger.

"**BESIDES THAT," **Shenlong replied.

"Nothing else Shenlong," Goku replied.

"**I BID THEE FAREWELL THEN," **Shenlong replied and vanished.

"Why didn't my wish work?" Chibi moped.

"Not everyone will have a Merry Christmas," Scrix replied.

"And why not?" Chibi asked.

"You're grounded," Scrix smirked and started dragging Chibi off.

"Ha! You owe me Piccolo!" Bardock laughed as Piccolo gives Bardock his cape.

The End?


End file.
